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?If bad sound were fatal, audio would be the leading cause of death.? So famously said Don Davis, founder of Synergetic Audio Concepts Inc.

“If bad sound were fatal, audio would be the leading cause of death.” So famously said Don Davis, founder of Synergetic Audio Concepts Inc. Styling itself as “a force of sound police,” Lectrosonics Inc. of Rio Rancho, N.M., has extended Davis’ metaphor and devised a list of tongue-in-cheek audio “Miranda Rights” to protect the innocent, or perhaps the only moderately guilty, public:

  • You have the right to make sound. Poor quality of any sound you make can and will be held against you by your audio peers.

  • You have the right to equalization. If you cannot EQ, someone will be provided to EQ for you.

  • You have the right to set up proper gain structure. Failure to set proper gain may result in loss of all audio rights.

  • You may not buy or use modifications to the laws of physics.

  • You cannot sell “modifications” to the laws of physics, and making any such claims for products shall cause you to wear a vest and name tag to work.

  • You have the right to buy $2,000 speaker cable. If you do, however, you will be mocked unmercifully by those who know better.

  • Failure to understand these rights may result in forfeiture of access to all knobs with markings, to include but not limited to: “gain,” “trim,” “LF,” “Pre,” and “Level,” as well as forfeiture of any and all tweakers in your possession.

Source: Lectrosonics Inc.

 


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